Cinco de Mayo , is coming up and I'm getting ready for the party
once again this year my buddy the great guitarist steve goldstein , keeps insisting that it's not Jewish , but he can't fool me anymore ....
Steve always comes to my big parties , and last year he came in second at the feats of strength at the festivus party .....he did a tremendous throw of the can of spam , nearly hit the fence .......
anyway my good bud Goldburglar keeps saying that barbecuing matzos and drinking Modelo isn't Jewish but he'll come anyway ??
last year a lady friend told 'im that even if he was culturally challenged like that , to just go along cuz Chuck ( usually she calls me Chuck ) likes to do cultural shtuff like that with his friends .... which was nice of her to tell Goldschmuck that
anyway steve keeps insisting that I mangle names and must have a screwed up calendar ??
he's always messin' with me ....lol
once again this year my buddy the great guitarist steve goldstein , keeps insisting that it's not Jewish , but he can't fool me anymore ....
Steve always comes to my big parties , and last year he came in second at the feats of strength at the festivus party .....he did a tremendous throw of the can of spam , nearly hit the fence .......
anyway my good bud Goldburglar keeps saying that barbecuing matzos and drinking Modelo isn't Jewish but he'll come anyway ??
last year a lady friend told 'im that even if he was culturally challenged like that , to just go along cuz Chuck ( usually she calls me Chuck ) likes to do cultural shtuff like that with his friends .... which was nice of her to tell Goldschmuck that
anyway steve keeps insisting that I mangle names and must have a screwed up calendar ??
he's always messin' with me ....lol
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 10:09 am
DJ Marcel_1
Damn chuck I needed a laugh this morning
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 11:46 am
Tear Em 'Up
I don't understand why we are celebrating a condiment anyway? Aren't ketchup and mustard jealous? Pickles deserve a day as well......Life is so unfair, I guess Kermit was right..It's Not Easy Being Green......
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 12:30 pm
exactly ..... WHO CARES if there's 5 mayos .....??
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 2:33 pm
Tear Em 'Up
How many mustards are there??...Mustard even has its own gas!!!
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 3:15 pm
at least mustard gas is important !
i don't think it'll replace ethanol , though
i don't think it'll replace ethanol , though
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 4:11 pm
Tear Em 'Up
I don't know Chuck..I heard rumors of a mustard gas powered car designed by Tesla, the scientist not the band, that was destroyed by the big auto makers in Detroit. (They hated anyone who thought outside the box, ask Tucker) Imagine that...yellow gas coming out of tail pipes...Plochman's and French's rolling in the dough....
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 4:20 pm
A Man and His Music
Chuck you are a funny mutha pucker, you need meds, but you are funny.
geposted Tue 29 Apr 08 @ 4:32 pm
they asked me at the club to not do my " tips for better sex " announcements anymore ?? i don't get it , i'm always concerned about my customers
When we started free hoagies at lunch , i announced hoagies 'n hooters ......then i thought oh so cunnilingly , what if the customers were confused about which is which ??? so i helped 'em out by informing them that if you bite a hoagie , you won't get kneed in the groin ......so if you got kneed in the groin , that was , in fact , a hooter ......see ?
another fine example is i noticed salsa and chips on the buffet , and then shortly thereafter a dancer was talkin' at me about her KY warming jelly .....
see where this is going ? you do ? yer very sick .....
anywhoo , you don't wanna confuse salsa and the KY either ......especially since when i dipped chips in the KY it tasted like sh!t .........see ? so don't keep 'em both in the fridge
When we started free hoagies at lunch , i announced hoagies 'n hooters ......then i thought oh so cunnilingly , what if the customers were confused about which is which ??? so i helped 'em out by informing them that if you bite a hoagie , you won't get kneed in the groin ......so if you got kneed in the groin , that was , in fact , a hooter ......see ?
another fine example is i noticed salsa and chips on the buffet , and then shortly thereafter a dancer was talkin' at me about her KY warming jelly .....
see where this is going ? you do ? yer very sick .....
anywhoo , you don't wanna confuse salsa and the KY either ......especially since when i dipped chips in the KY it tasted like sh!t .........see ? so don't keep 'em both in the fridge
geposted Wed 30 Apr 08 @ 9:12 am
Tear Em 'Up
chucknorrisyouwimps wrote :
they asked me at the club to not do my " tips for better sex " announcements anymore ?? i don't get it , i'm always concerned about my customers
Thats you all over the place Chuck..thinking of others..looking out for those who can't help themselves.....wait a tick, strip club?? Can't help themselves?? Well, not that way at least.......
geposted Wed 30 Apr 08 @ 9:23 am
thanks Teary .......i mean , i could understand if i was taking up some controversial position about , say , abortion or something , but i'm just dishin' out some good practical pointers ! right ? sheesh......
geposted Wed 30 Apr 08 @ 9:28 am
it's times like this where i like to remind myself , life is like a bbq'd matzoh ...... ya know ?
geposted Wed 30 Apr 08 @ 9:37 am
discjockeydoc
Thx Chuck, loosened up my funny bone :-D
geposted Wed 30 Apr 08 @ 12:23 pm
yesterday i took a lovely lady friend to the Charlie Brown's Steakhouse nestled in the rolling hills and verdant valleys of flatulent Maple Shade , NJ ....
i was asked did i want anything to drink while i decided on my order , so i got a Corona ...... they bring out this bottle with this colorful thing on it , and i said what's that , it looks kinda Mexican ???
the waitress says it's a skirt and it is mexican ?????
my beer gets a SKIRT ????? and it's Mexican , not Jewish ??? holy comoly ......
i was asked did i want anything to drink while i decided on my order , so i got a Corona ...... they bring out this bottle with this colorful thing on it , and i said what's that , it looks kinda Mexican ???
the waitress says it's a skirt and it is mexican ?????
my beer gets a SKIRT ????? and it's Mexican , not Jewish ??? holy comoly ......
geposted Fri 02 May 08 @ 7:07 am
Tear Em 'Up
No offense Chuck...I would rather your beer wore a skirt than you.....
geposted Fri 02 May 08 @ 8:11 am
fatkatzdj
Now the question is - Did you have to put your hand up the beers skirt to drink it?
geposted Fri 02 May 08 @ 10:49 am
Tim Bennett
WOOHOO!!!
Now, two of my most favoritest things can be found in a skirt.
Preferably neither are wearing panties.
That's nickers to you sods in the UK.
Now, two of my most favoritest things can be found in a skirt.
Preferably neither are wearing panties.
That's nickers to you sods in the UK.
geposted Fri 02 May 08 @ 11:08 am
Tear Em 'Up
fatkatzdj wrote :
Now the question is - Did you have to put your hand up the beers skirt to drink it?
Is this an anatomically accurate beer? "Excuse me for being indelicate Miss Corona, can you show us where it was exactly Chuck Norris touched you on this doll?" I can hear the investigating officer in my head as we speak....
geposted Fri 02 May 08 @ 2:42 pm
i fondled my beer knowingly and she was frigid
welp , the big holiday is here , i hope you guys enjoy even if yer not Jewish
welp , the big holiday is here , i hope you guys enjoy even if yer not Jewish
geposted Mon 05 May 08 @ 5:00 pm